Seductions
"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." Lauren began the
familiar ritual. "It has been fifteen days since my last confession."
Never before had she had so much to confess. Since moving to San
Francisco, her carefully structured life had collapsed. She had
committed many sins and was here to atone for them, but there was one
sin she was not ready to tell. Absolution required contrition and she
wasn't ready to renounce everything she had done. With her face red and
her hands wringing in her lap, she began her confession.
"I moved here with my best friend, Kerry Clarkson two weeks ago. Kerry
was given a scholarship to the Academy of Art. She wants to study
theater and computer animation and go to work in Hollywood. I was
afraid to come, but I don't have very many friends back home. Kerry has
been almost like a sister to me since we were nine years old. I
couldn't let her do this by herself and I don't know what I would have
done if she had left without me.
"I'm sorry if I'm rambling, Father. I don't know how all this happened.
Everything has changed. I'm not the same person anymore. Please help
me."
Behind the screen, the shadows stirred. "Child, I'm here all day. Talk
as long as you need to. Tell me whatever you have to. With God's help,
we can get you centered again."
Lauren relaxed. "Thank you, Father. I should have come here sooner, but
things were so crazy.
"We moved here from Ogden, Utah. It's a much smaller town, but we were
only a half hour away from Salt Lake City. We spent a lot of weekends
there when we were in high school and I thought San Francisco would be
about the same.
"Kerry has this friend she'd met on the internet who offered to rent us
a room. It wasn't until we got here that I found out that her friend
was a guy. I just assumed that we'd be staying with another girl. It
didn't seem right. I know that times have changed and that men and
women can share a living space without it being sinful, but it just
felt wrong at first. It wasn't easy to get used to.
The priest cleared his throat. "God judges what we do and what we
think. Where we live is pretty much up to us."
"I know that, Father, and it's a big apartment, but it just makes me
nervous, knowing that the guys are living there with us.
"Guys?" asked the priest. "I thought you said it was just the one guy
that your friend knew from the computer."
"That's Samuel, but he already had one roommate," Lauren said. "They
each have a bedroom, and Kerry and I share the third. In fact, until we
can afford to replace the furniture, we have to share the bed.
"I spent the first week scared to death that the guys would come and
rape us while we slept or come into the bathroom to spy on me in the
shower.
The priest murmured something under his breath and asked, "Did any of
that happen?"
"No," said Lauren. "The guys were both nice. They're very respectful.
Jerrod, Samuel's roommate, even gave me a job in a fancy Italian cafe
he helps manage."
"Well," said the priest, "So far, none of this sounds at all sinful.
I'm very pleased that in these dark days, you can find people of such
character. Unless there's more to the story."
"Yes, Father, there is. By the end of last week, I was starting to
relax and feel good about being here. Kerry and I were having a great
time. I really, really like my job. For the first time in my life, I'm
making friends on my own without Kerry's help. Theresa, the girl who
trained me at the cafe has offered to show me around town and teach me
how to get along in this city.
"The first incident was this past Wednesday. I came home from work and
found Kerry and Samuel home. Kerry was wearing a tiny two piece
swimsuit I didn't even know she owned. It was one of those thong styles
where there is just a bit of string in the back, letting your whole
bottom show. Kerry was on the couch, letting Samuel take pictures of
her. When I walked in, she was lying with her face on the cushion and
her behind was way up in the air. I know what pictures like that are
for and they're not for sending home to her family.
"When she saw me, she just smiled and sat upright on the couch. Samuel
asked if she was ready and she turned bright red. She bit her lip like
she was afraid to talk, and she wouldn't look at me, but she nodded to
Samuel and took off her top.
"Father, she doesn't even know him that well. How can she be doing
this? She's doing porn right in front of me and I don't know how to
stop her. I'm not even sure I want to try. I really like the freedom I
have here and I know that Kerry likes it too. I don't want to ruin it
for either of us. I don't want to leave now, but if she keeps this up,
I have to, don't I?
The priest stirred in his seat. "That's the coward's way, child. I'm
afraid your friend is losing her way. You have a responsibility to help
guide her back. If you are a true friend, you must stick by her and
show her the righteous path. At the very least, you need to show her a
good example."
In a small, quiet voice, Lauren said, "I haven't been a very righteous
example, Father. I'm sorry."
"I don't know what happened with the pictures. After Kerry took her top
off, I ran to the bedroom and hid there. I didn't want to know what
else Kerry was going to do. I was also afraid she would want me to join
in, and I've never been very good at saying no to Kerry. She came in
about half an hour later, but we didn't talk about it. We've been
pretending it didn't happen. But I can't ignore what happened that
night.
"Tell me," said the priest.
"Kerry and I were sleeping when sounds from the living room woke us up.
The front door closed and I heard Jerrod and some girl laughing. They
sounded very affectionate, like something very private was going on.
The girl was making sighing, moaning sounds and it sounded like they
were kissing.
"Then we heard the girl's voice. 'Jerrod, be fair... You have to kiss
Gina, too' she told him.
"Kerry grabbed my hand and we stared at each other in the moonlight.
Something indecent was happening in the apartment and we were trapped.
I should have covered my ears, but I kept listening. I prayed that they
would leave us alone. I thought Kerry was feeling the same way, but I
was wrong.
"She started to sit up. I told her to lock the door, but she wanted to
go watch. I didn't even resist. I just followed along. We crept down
the hallway until we could see what was happening. Jerrod had his arm
around a tall girl with dark, wavy hair. His hand was on her ass! She
was kissing Jerrod's neck and ear, but he was kissing a blonde girl
leaning against them both, standing on her toes to reach.
"The dark haired girl pulled away and said 'My turn to kiss Gina.' She
pulled the blonde against her and held her like they were married. She
grabbed Gina's head with both hands and kissed her. That's when I
recognized her. It was Theresa, the waitress from the cafe. She'd been
so nice. I couldn't believe I was seeing her like this. I couldn't
believe I was seeing this at all.
"I wanted to leave. I wanted to go back to the room, but Kerry wouldn't
let me. She wanted to watch, so we stayed.
"Jerrod was tugging at Gina's clothes, trying to undress her. Theresa
helped him. Together, they pulled off her dress, then Jerrod moved
behind her to undo her bra while Theresa knelt in front of her and
pulled off her panties.
"Jerrod was squeezing Gina's breasts and Theresa... I can't even say
it. Theresa was... She put her head between Gina's legs and started
licking her...on her...Father, she was licking Gina's pussy. There! I
can't believe I actually said it. I shouldn't have even seen it. We
shouldn't have kept watching, but we did. I didn't even try to leave. I
wanted to see what would happen next. Jerrod was using one hand to grab
Theresa's head and press it even harder against Gina.
"Soon, they were all naked. Gina and Theresa got on their knees and
licked Jerrod's...um...penis. They both did. They kept kissing each
other and then kissing his penis. They even put in their mouths. Then
Theresa lay on the floor and opened her legs. Jerrod got on top of her
and had sex with her. I could actually see his penis going inside until
Gina put her head in the way. Gina started licking Jerrod's penis again
and licking Theresa's pussy at the same time, while they were having
sex. I didn't know what to think. I'd never heard of anything like
that. I couldn't make myself look away.
"Then Theresa pushed Jerrod off. I'm only repeating what she said, but
Theresa told Jerrod that she wanted to watch him fuck Gina. Gina
started nodding and saying, yes, yes.
"Suddenly, I recognized her, too. Gina works at the restaurant too. She
works in the back of the kitchen, chopping vegetables and making the
soups. I don't see her very often, but I saw a lot of her that night.
"Gina got on the couch, in the very same position I'd seen Kerry in
earlier. Her butt was way up in the air. Jerrod got behind her and put
his penis inside her. That was too much for me. He had just had sex
with one girl and now he was having sex with another one right in front
of her. I wanted to leave, but I couldn't. I had to see what else they
would do.
"It didn't last much longer. Theresa was rolling around on the floor,
with her fingers in her pussy. Jerrod was pushing himself into Gina
faster and faster. He was grunting like he was in pain and Gina was
making a lot of noise too. I could hear their bodies slapping together.
Jerrod grabbed Gina's hips and pulled her close to him, then stopped
moving. I knew what was happening. He was having his orgasm. He was
ejaculating inside her. I couldn't believe I was seeing this.
"That was the last, final straw. I made myself go back to bed. I was
wide awake and afraid and sorry I'd come to San Francisco. I decided I
would go back home the next morning.
"But Kerry came in and lay down with me. She said she was sorry for
making me watch that. I accused her of enjoying it, and she didn't
argue. She ran her fingers through my hair and said she'd always wanted
to watch people having sex in front of her.
"I wanted to be mad at her and to blame her. She let me do it, but we
both knew that nobody had held me down or forced me to stay and watch.
"Then she asked me if I had ever wanted to do things with another girl.
I started to feel afraid again. She told me she had been thinking of me
and thinking of doing things with me like the things we'd seen the
girls in the living room do with each other. I didn't tell her that I
knew the girls. I didn't say anything.
"She started rubbing my back, moving her hand in circles down my back
and along my side. When she reached my bottom, she leaned over and
kissed me. She told me to stop her as soon as I felt uncomfortable.
"I've never been very good at stopping Kerry. She has been dragging me
into things for my whole life. I have always let her take the lead. I
didn't stop her.
"She ran her hand under my shirt and held my breasts. She was tickling
my nipples and kissing my neck. She didn't do as much as Gina and
Theresa, but she did a lot. I did a lot, too.
"I did everything Kerry asked me to. I fondled her breasts. I even
licked her nipples. Kerry took off her pajamas and I took off mine. We
touched each other's pussies and she put her finger into mine.
"Every night since then, Kerry wants to have sex with me and I don't
know how to say no. I've been doing everything she wants. Father, I'm
changing. I'm afraid of what I'm changing into.
The priest sat silent for a few minutes. He was thinking over
everything he'd heard. He had been hearing confessions for twenty
years. He'd never heard anything like this. He tried to ignore his own
reactions to the tale. When he spoke, his voice was kind but stern.
"You are following your friend into her corruption. Perhaps you were
right when you wanted to leave. You cannot remain in her company if you
cannot resist her temptations. We cannot give up on your friend, but
you have committed terrible, unnatural sins and you must make peace
with yourself and God. For the next two weeks, I want you to take time
every morning and every evening to pray. Get clear of your friend and
find your own soul again before you try to save hers."
Lauren left the confessional and slowly exited the cathedral. There was
still one sin she had not confessed. She considered going back in and
finishing, but it would not be appropriate. One must be truly penitent
to receive the benefits of Confession. She had been hearing the lessons
all her life. You can recite all your sins to the priest and perform
the penance he gives you, but if you are not remorseful in your heart,
you are not absolved of your sins. She had punished herself for
everything she had done. She had prayed and she had cried. She had made
herself feel wretched over everything that had happened, but she had
also enjoyed it. Every moment of every sin had filled her with a
pleasure and ecstasy she had never before experienced. She hadn't told
that to the priest. She wasn't about to tell him, either. She was
starting to question a few of her long-held beliefs. Her faith in God
was as strong as ever. It was her faith in the rituals of the church
that was starting to show cracks. Such joy as she had found could not
possibly be sinful. It could only come from God himself.
Lauren was not about to abandon Kerry. She was learning so many new
things about herself. The sin would be to ignore the tremendous
opportunities that were now available.
Lauren turned and faced the cathedral. She made the Sign of the Cross
and said good-bye. She wasn't sure when she'd be back.
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